Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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