so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
