Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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