I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
