i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
