I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
