the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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