I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
