Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
