well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
