I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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