Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
