dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
