hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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