Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just puked most of my soul out..
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