btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
