So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
