We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
