what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
