She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
