We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
