I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
