just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
