my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.