You really coming over, don't trick.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.