Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
