New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.