Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.