just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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