my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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