Do you still have your period?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize