i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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