ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Everclear isn't food dammit
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
