I bet he comes in French.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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