If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
