Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
