People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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