sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize