i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
