I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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