Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
