Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
