so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
