she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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