Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
