all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
