At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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