We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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