drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
