I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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