all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
