Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
