we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
