she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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