but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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