i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
