I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
