i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
