i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
