Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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