What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i dont even know how to be here
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
