how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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