the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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