glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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