Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
